Bored Wishes
by The Second Geek
Summary: Math class sucks, oops i made a wish that came true. Truly Madly Insane. ELEVEN IS UP! AND YOUR SPIRITS ARE DOWN FOR THIS IS THE END!
1. Where Bored Wishes Come From

I have no idea where this story came from, basically that is the origin of the plot. [mindless giggling] I am such an ass.

**Plot-** plot? What plot? 

**Explanation then, wise ass:** I am wise aren't I? Ok Melissa, (alias First of the Geeks) Me (alias, myself, the Second Geek), Cherice (alias Obsessed With Orli) and other people, all end up hanging out with Jack Sparrow and Legolas on the Black Pearl, actually they can travel to, Melissa and My math classroom, A forest in Middle Earth, Cherice's History Classroom, or The Black Pearl, just by tackling the characters. Quite interesting actually if you are insane and willing to accept the unacceptable is possible. 

**Huh? -** Shut up. Just read.

**Well. What else then-** this story is told from my POV, so yea

One final note

I love you all, and hope you live LONG and PROSPER! So that you can read more FANFICTION!

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Intro 

_______~~_____________

Her name was Melissa, and dammit was she bored. She was in her math class when this call started, which meant she was in school, and come on now, school is boring. 

So she squeezed her eyes shut and made a wish.

Would it come true?

Yes. Yes it would. 

Much to her surprise. 

Everything sounds simple and innocent right?

NO! YOU ARE WRONG!

WRONGWRONGWRONG!!!!!!

And the only thing that would ensue from this

is madness.

What else?

_________~~__________

Alright now, that little introduction thing was a little strange, so I am just going to take over the narration from here. 

Anyhoo.

Like it said, my name is Melissa. But you all can call me Mel. It would make things a lot less confusing, because I have a best friend named Melissa also.  And I am here to tell you my story. You see, a month ago I was sitting in Math class. My teacher, Mr. C, was droning ON and ON about "matrices" which, I come to find out, is the plural name for matrix. Funny isn't it? 

Anyway, I really don't give a rat's ass about what the hell a matrix is, or how to use it. 

So I squeezed my eyes shut and made a wish. 

"I wish upon everything that is great and funny in the world, that something totally astounding, amazing out of this world, and otherwise unexplainable would happen to me." I mumbled, "and it would involve Jack Sparrow." I added as an afterthought.

Melissa, who was sitting next to me, looked up with interest. "Did you just say Jack Sparrow?" 

I opened my eyes, and looked over to her. "I made a wish." I replied.

"About Jack Sparrow?" She said looking at me with a Look in her eyes. "I wish it would come true." 

I turned around and faced the front of the classroom, about to make an insanely clever comeback, but something stopped me. That something, was wearing a tricorn hat, an over coat, and I noticed, very killer boots.

"Um, Melissa. I think it just did." I said not taking my eyes off the man. Yes ladies and Gentlemen. Jack Sparrow was standing right behind my Math teacher looking like he was about to kill someone. 

My teacher, was obviously, oblivious to this fact. "When you multiply the Matrices- [he bumped into Jack] oh excuse me,  when you multiply them, you have to remember- WHAT THE HELL!?!" 

Jack looked him up and down for a moment. "You took the words right out of my mouth mate."

At this point everyone in the classroom was staring wildly at him, wondering (I'll bet) what the hell this Pirate man was doing at the front of the classroom taunting my teacher.

Just then Jack pulled out his pistol as he yelled at my teacher, "NO MATE!" 

Everyone screamed and ducked below their desks. Except for me and Melissa, who continued staring wide eyed at him. Jack then pointed the gun to our math teacher's head, and Melissa and me look at each other. 

Luckily we were both thinking the same thing, as we jumped up from our seats. We hopped onto our desks, and race across several others before sailing halfway across the room, and landing with a thud as we tackled the swashbuckling Pirate to the ground. 

" WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON?!" he yelled thrashing his arms around, he looked up. "Oh, why hello lasses." 

"Hi…" I said cautiously, rolling off of him

"Hola, Captain." Melissa said falling off as he stood up.

I looked Jack up and down for a moment, convinced that I was dreaming. He interrupted my thoughts when he said, "Like what you see?" with a cheeky smile. 

I rolled my eyes, at him. He reminded me of the captain of the football team, Jason Pope. Stupid Jock. 

Anyway. 

As I rolled my eyes, I looked around. "You guys, um, were not in the math room anymore."

Melissa looked around and said, "What gives you that idea?"

"Well it could be the lack of bricks, the open sky, grass below, and trees over there." I said pointing to the trees at the edge of the clearing we were in.

"Hmmm." Jack said stroking his chin braids. "That's very astute of you." 

I looked over at him with a curious look, "Dumbass with a stick." I mumbled.

"No, actually I have a sword," he replied pulling said sword out. "See?" he continued pointing to it. 

I blinked for a moment, as he re-sheathed it.

"Hey Mel, what exactly did you wish for?"  Melissa asked breaking the silence that followed the blinking. 

"Not this." I said looking around again. 

Jack walked over to me, and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Love, Belle, right?"

"Mel." I replied irritated. I pushed his arm off my shoulder. 

"Mel, Belle, whatever," he continued waving his arms in my face. "What is that lass over there talking about, this "Wish", where the BLOODY hell are we, and WHO ARE YOU TWO!" 

Melissa looked a little out of it, as she looked around and replied, "This could be a fanfic."

I looked back at her and said "It probably will be one later." See? We even knew back then it was going to be a fic.

But anyway, Jack looked at us angrily as he said, "Ladies? Did you forget about 'ol Jack over here?"

I looked back at him and replied with, "Oh yea, you. Well, to answer your questions, in no particular order, I am Melissa, as is she." I gestured to Melissa. 

Jack looked over my shoulder at her with his eyes open wide and his mouth slightly open. "Yer both Melissa? Can I call you Belle just to make things easier?" 

I threw my head back in anguish, "NO! I am MEL call me MEL." 

"Hows about I call her Melissa Number One, and you I call Melissa Number Two?" he asked pointing at Melissa then myself

"NO! CALL ME MEL, YOU DUMBASS WITH A STICK!" I yelled getting very pissed. This guy was SO unbelievably headstrong it was hurting my head. I swear, he was worse than me. 

"Sword, love. I have a sword," he said pointing to his side, where the sword was. 

I fumed at him for a moment, before Melissa started to answer his remaining questions. "Jack, to answer your remaining questions, MEL, made a wish that something, strange and unusual would happen, and it would involve you. And where we are right now, is, well it looks like a forest." 

"I noticed that." Jack replied looking wide eyed at her.  "Anyway. Love, Melissa, er, MEL, you can just wish me back now, I was doing something kind of important."

"And what would that be, JACK." I asked putting my hands on my hips

He looked at me and arched and eyebrow. "Love, I don't remember, I think it had something to do with the ship and rum." He opened his eyes wide at and pointed at me. "And you KNOW that has to be important."

Melissa and I both looked at him skeptically for a moment.

"What?' he replied looking innocent. 

I shook my head slowly, and something caught my eye. And THIS something, was a tall Blond headed dude hiding behind a tree.

"AHHHHHOLYCRAPARONI!" I screamed frantically pointing to Blondie. 

Jack and Melissa both jumped and turned to face my point. My eyes were wide open as I realized where we were, and who exactly Blondie was. 

"Fuck Me." I mumbled. 

Jack turned around and eyed me. "That can be arranged Love." I stared at him wide eyed. And really disgusted, he however just smiled, and turned back around.

"Mel, what is it? I can't see anything, WHAT IS IT?!?" Melissa screeched wildly scanning the tree line. 

"Oh nothing," I replied calmly, looking back at Blondie, "It's just Legolas Greenleaf IS STANDING BEHIND THAT TREE!" I started screaming again as I jumped up and down. 

_____~~__________

Ok all so here is your chance, tell me, was that funny? Did it suck? Should I continue? Hmmmm?

Flames are welcome, but I will just flame your flame, soo, if you don't feel like being bashed by the great and powerful me, I suggest you don't do it. 

Everyone who reviews gets a free can of silly string, and a box of Pirate Booty. 

Byebye!


	2. Legolassy

WOO! You guys! Ten whole reviews! I feel so loved. [beam!] [throws out cans of silly string, and boxes of pirate booty]

Ok little bit of review replies first…

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**First of the- Melissa is an idiot:** we don't, but I'll bet you like being kicked up into sophomore math don't cha? If not...pretend your 16.

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**MickJaggerasFrankandAlex****:** weirdness is my specialty, what can I say? I don't know where all this stuff originates from. Actually I think I do. I was bored in Math class, and made up something I wanted to happen to me at that moment. So yea! Boredom is greatness!

**Lena****:** I am honored to be considered one of the funniest people you know! Woo! You make me feel warm and fuzzy inside! [sigh] I love you!

**Sweet A.K.:** tee hee, thank you! The next postageness will be right now! Woo!

**SoccerGurl703**: wee! I am glad you love it! And I am definitely planning on continuing! Until the END! Viva la Humor!

**Jashi**: right well…erm…. Ok? Hehehe! I know I am a little comma happy (as opposed to Trigger happy get it?! No? ok nvm) woo!

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**Cherice is a dumbass:** hahah! Um, you know what? Ok! HAY! Your in this chapter! Woo! Party down!

**CeopatraVII**: of course I will bring more!

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**Captain Sparrows Pet:** you sound a lot like me…

**Lemluvspirates****:** DOODE! A character in one of my stories is Lem, I dunno if you have read it but, yea! There is a reason for it though, lem is my name spelled backwards! Woo! Get it?! Mel Lem? WOO! Oh cool! Jack stickers! 

**LOOKEE MEE!**

Ok if you can identify the line in here that is used in another story of mine, I will give you another can of silly string, and GOLD MEDALLIONS!

Ok nuff of that! Here goes the fun stuff!

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"Wait, WHAT!?!" Melissa screamed scanning the treeline even wilder, if possible, than before.

"THE ELF! I CAN SEE THE ELF! LEGOLAAAAAAAS!" I yelled running around in circles.

"What the bloody 'ell is an elf?" Jack asked looking back at me with a bewildered look. 

I would have answered, or smacked him on the head, if Legolas had not jumped out from behind the tree, with his bow aimed up Jack's nose. 

"Ouch, that looks like it hurts…" Melissa mumbled looking over to him. 

"Who are you, and How did you get here?" Legolas, growled at Jack. 

"ImCaptianJackSparrowmate." He answered wide eyed. (I would assume the reason being he had a arrow up his nose?)  but then he looked at Legolas interested. "You look kind of familiar, have you threatened me before?" 

I groaned at the over used and terribly predictable line. 

"No, I have never met you before."  Legolas replied not letting his guard down. 

"You sure mate? Now that I think of it, you kind of look like this guy I once knew…" Jack said tilting his head.

"No, I have never met you, and now that I think of it, I have no real desire to ever see you again. But tell me, why are you in this forest, with two maidens?" Legolas replied shoving the arrow just a little farther up Jack's nose. 

I decided that since Jack was being an ass about "knowing" Legolas, that maybe I should take over from here. "Down! Jack!" 

However before I could get more than that out, Melissa realized who was standing in front of her. It took her a while, but give her some credit, he is naught but a humble blond. "LEGOLAS!" 

The said elf jumped about three feet in the air.

"OH MY GOD! It is sooooo! Nice to meet you! I AM IRETH VARDAMIR!" she squealed running up to him and jumping up and down. Thank you, stupid online Elvish name generator. Incase you can't tell from that previous snide remark, Ireth Vardamir is Melissa's Elvish name, according to the online thing.

 I mentally slapped my forehead, as Legolas looked at her and said, "Excuse me?" 

This time before anyone could interrupt, I jumped up to put my two cents in, "Her name is Melissa, as is mine, um, your highness." 

Now I know what you all are thinking, "Suck up" "Brown Nose" "Stupid Mary Sue." Well you guys can think what you want. This elf guy was really scary in real life, at least when it comes to protecting things. He looked like the kind of guy that you had to suck up to until he told you to stop, or shot your head off. I really wanted to keep my head at the time, so I sucked up. Leave me alone. 

Legolas looked over to me, and his steely gaze softened a little, but only a little. "This man does not look like one to trust, why is it that you two are traveling with him?" 

Jack looked over to me, then back at Legolas. "HAY!" he yelled when, I **guess**, he realized what Legolas had said about him looking untrustworthy. Legolas replied by shoving the arrow a little farther up Jack's nose. "They aren't traveling with me mate, it's them [he points to Melissa and myself] who brought _me_ here."

I held up my hands in defense. "We didn't do anything."

Jack turned his eyes, (seeing as that was the only thing he COULD turn at the moment) to me and said, "You ran into ME and then we were here. As far as I see it, YOU two did it all."

"Hey!" Melissa said coming to, what I thought was, my defense. "I didn't do ANYTHING! It was MEL who made the WISH!"

I glared at her, then looked over to Legolas, who was looking at her funny also. "Did you just say, "wished'?" he asked looking quite frightened. 

Jack took Leoglas' moment of distraction to get the upper hand. He drew his pistol and aimed it at Legolas's head. "Alright now mate, if I were you, I would put the arrow down." 

"DUMBASS WITH A STICK!" I screeched kicking Jack's shin. "Do NOT point a gun to the Prince of Mirkwood's head!" 

Jack dropped his gun and looked wide eyed.  "Prince?" 

"YES!" I seethed towards him, "Now will you let him keep talking?"

Legolas re-positioned his arrow back at Jack's nose, and continued. "You said wished correct?"

I slowly nodded my head, wondering what the hell he was getting at. 

"Well," he put down his arrow, and abruptly turned to face the tree line where he had emerged from, moments ago. "YOU!" he said pointing to a tree, "Get out here!" 

I stared at Legolas for a moment, thinking he had gone insane, when who should jump out from behind the tree but, my other buddy, Cherice!

"Hi guys!" she said with a stupid grin. "Howya dooin?" 

"CHERICE!" Melissa and I screamed at the same time, as we both ran over to her, and tackled her in a giant "We Are All Friends Here" hug. 

"OH MY GENTILE JESUS! GET THE HELL OFFA ME!"  Cherice screamed, waving her arms and legs everywhere. 

Behind me I heard Jack say "Good God, it's another one! My day just got SO much better!"

I decided to ignore that comment and ask Cherice, "how the hell did you get here?"  I stood up, and pulled her up by the arm.

"Well, you see, there is a highly great and all powerful explanation to that question. Unfortunately the only one I can think of is neither of those things…"

she said standing up and looking like she was actually having a very serious conversation. Which of course is never the case. 

"Well what is your explanation then?" Melissa said still on the ground, sitting cross legged and looking up. 

"I made a wish, and all of a sudden my Legolassy was in my History room!" Cherice finished with a GIANT grin.

"What is this? Grant every goddamned fangirl's wish day?" I mumbled to myself, truly curious. 

"I don't know, but whatever day it is, it is a good day." Jack said sauntering up to us and slapping me on the ass. 

___________________**_____________________

But you all know, I am gonna do something not nice to Jack for slapping my ass right?

Sorry to cut you all off like this, but I really wanted to get a bit posted before I had to leave, (for alas I am at the library) 

Hay guys! Thunderstorm out side! Lighting is cool!

Yea!

Live on and be Merry!

Hahah!

Yea, go be a hobbit.


	3. Pervy Pirate

WOWERZ! what is it up to? 17 reviews now?! coolies! 

Btw Jack is an ass for personal reasons. I just have never seen anyone portray Jack as an ass who is a ladies man. So here it is!

P.s. I love jack…know this…

Next chapter!

_**______

"WHY DID YOU SLAP MY ASS!?" I yelled at Jack. I grabbed his arm from behind me and flipped him over my shoulder, how I did so is a complete mystery to this day. Maybe it had something to do with my ass being in danger, I don't know. 

He jumped up and opened his eyes wide as he backed up a little bit. He put up his hands as though defending himself from me.

"Sorry Love," he replied turning back around quickly to face Legolas. 

"Oh my god," I said turning to face Melissa and Cherice, who were giggling madly. "I swear I think I am going to kill that man before this is all over."

"Oh no!' Melissa cried, latching herself onto my shoulder. "Don't kill him!"

"Well then, what do we do with them then?" I asked pushing her off. 

Melissa looked a little miffed for a moment, but I didn't care. All I cared about was getting back to math class. Which now that I think of it is kinda stupid seeing as I made the wish in the first place to get OUT of math class. hmm. 

ANYWAY

I continued talking. "What do we do about them?" 

"Well my suggestion would be to take them behind a tree and screw them madly." Cherice said as innocently as a comment like that could be made. 

'Oh my god.' I thought 

"No I don't think we will be doing that." I said. I heard a noise behind me and turned again to face Jack prancing around Legolas asking him a thousand questions at once. 

"Where did you get tha bow? Ever been to Singapore? You like rum? Ever hear of Will Turner? Crazy lad that one is. Hey! Can I get a look at this bow?''

Legolas looked up at me. "You are sure that you don't want me to harm him?" 

"Yea, for now that is." I answered.  "JACK NO! Put that down!" I yelled noticing that Jack had grabbed the knives off Legolas' back and was swinging them dangerously around. I swear this guy (who was supposed to be like forty right?) was acting like a FREAKING THREE YEAR OLD!

Jack dropped the knives, and stood up straight looking like a kid that had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 

"Hi Legolassy!" Cherice cooed from behind me. 

Legolas cringed a little and picked up his knives. I blinked a few times and said, "Gentlemen." I hesitated and looked at the two guys. "Well erm, Pirate and Elf. First off, Jack leave Prince Greenleaf alone." I know, I know, shut up.

"Please, call me Legolas." Legolas said bowing slightly. 

"Yes of course. Now, can you two sit nice whilst I talk to my friends for a moment?

Legolas nodded solemnly, but Jack just started grinning madly. I decided to ignore it and turned back around to face Melissa and Cherice. "All right you two, now if we are going to-AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Before I could finish my sentence, I was felt something wrap it's arms around my waist while it tackled me to the ground. 

I landed on something hard, and naturally, it hurt. But at that moment, I really wasn't too concerned with that. 

"WHO THE FUCK TACKLED ME AND HOW DO THEY WANT TO DIE?!?!" I screamed jumping up. Before I could utter another obscenity though, I looked around and shrieked, "GOOD GODS!" for no longer was I in a clearing in a forest, but in the middle of the ocean, on a ship. I looked down and noticed the hard thing I had landed on, was the helm's platform. "What the hell?" I mumbled looking around some more in awe. 

"I can't believe that actually worked Love." I heard my tackler say from behind me. 

I angrily turned around and faced him with my hands on my hips. "I should kick you." I growled. I was pissed. Very pissed. Not because Jack had tackled me. Not even because I now had a beautiful bruise forming on my head. No. I was pissed because I was stranded on a ship, alone, with Jack Sparrow. 

Now again, I know what you all are thinking. "Stupid Mary-Sue! What is wrong with you!? Why wouldn't you want to be on a ship alone with Jack Sparrow?!?!" Well, I'll tell you why. He is absolutely NOTHING like you all think him to be. Yes, he was still a sexy beast of a pirate dude, but other than that TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Annoying, Perverted, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE PEOPLE HE SLAPPED MY ASS! 

"Wait Love! We are back on my ship! Othankyougod!" he squealed laying down and kissing the deck. I regarded this action with very wide eyes and an open mouth. 

After a moment of the torturous make out session, I pulled Jack up by the back of his coat. "Ok, OK! Enough of that! GET UP!"

"Sorry Love, It's just, I am so happy to be back here!" he said sniffling. It sounded like he was about to cry. I, however, did not want to see a crying 40 year old man, so I quickly changed the subject. 

"Why did you tackle me?" 

Jack looked me up and down for a moment, as if he just noticed me. "Well Love, you see, when you and Melissa Number One jumped me, back in that first place we were at-" His eyes settled on my chest, "We went to that other place, you know the forest. So I figured if I jumped YOU then maybe we could get outta there, that Prince fella was kinda messin with me head." He finished to my chest. 

I looked to the side totally pissed that this guy would actually openly look at my boobs. "HEY! Pervy Pirate!" I snapped my fingers in front of his face, "I am up here." I finished pointing to my eyes.

"What?" he replied finally looking up at me. 

"KEEP YOUR EYES OFF MY BOOBS!" I yelled getting even more pissed, if possible. I looked at him and got an idea. "Hey! Do you think that if I ran into YOU it would take me back to my friends?"

"NO!NONONONO!" he replied rather quickly throwing up his hands and backing away from me. "That wouldn't work."

"And why the hell not?" I asked slapping my forehead. 

"Because." He said looking trying to act like he knew what he was talking about, while wearing the "I Have No Idea What The Hell I am Talking About"  face. "It only works once." His eyes started to sink down towards my chest again. 

"Well," I started crossing my arms over my boobs. "How exactly do you know this?"

Jack looked a little hurt for a moment before he looked back up at my eyes and replied, "I just do, now can you live with that or not?" He turned around. BIG mistake. 

I made a quick decision. "NO!" I screamed as I sprinted towards him dead on. 

However, just before I tackled him, he casually stepped to the side, which sent me tumbling over the railing and off the ship. 

______**______

ooh! I fell!

Crap!

I promise, in the next chapter, more ass grabbing, and an appearance (or add in) of WILL TURNER! 

HUZZAH!

Don't forget 

I love jack sparrow


	4. MelissaLemissa

All right guys I lied. There will be no Will in this chapter…I am sorry! [Gets bombarded by Will fangirls] AHHH! I said SORRY! HE WILL BE IN LATER CHAPTERS! [Fangirls back off but only a little] it didn't work to add him in here, but he will be in later! I PROMISE!

I love all of my reviewers, and give each and everyone of them several bottles of silly string, and free POTC Door Posters!

~~~

I realized I was falling when I hit the water, I realized I had hit the water when I was about three feet below the surface. 'Damn Sparrow' I remember thinking as I looked up at the surface. I then found out the hard way, that salt burns ones eyes. I squeezed them shut and could feel tears starting to form. Come on man, IT BURNED! You would start crying too if you got an eye full of salt. I started to kick myself to the surface, but instead felt myself being grabbed around the waist and pulled up. 

"I keep havin to save all these bloody woman." I heard Jack mumble as he started to swim back to the ship.

"I am quite capable of swimming myself thankyouverymuch." I said trying to peel his arm from my waist. 

He let me go as we neared the ship. I clung to the rope on the side, as Jack gestured me to go up. "Ladies first." He said smiling. 

I narrowed my eyes at him. I knew that he was planning something mischievous. But I made the mistake of ignoring it and climbing up anyway. I started to have a Smèagol/Gollum moment by arguing with myself. Let's just call it a Melissa/Lemissa moment.

'Well that was kinda nice. He jumped after me.' Lemissa thought.

'Yea, but he is kinda perverted.' I thought back.

'Well he is a pirate.' Lemissa argued.

'Pirates don't save damsels in distress.' I thought.

'Yes they do.' Lemissa thought

'You are thinking of Hollywood Pirates. Errol Flynn?' I replied.

'Oh.' 

But then something happened that both of my "people" could agree that was really not too nice.

'SPARROW GRABBED MY ASS!' we both thought. 

"AHHHH!" I screamed instinctively kicking him. 

I immediately felt the release of my butt, and heard a splash below. Quicker than quick itself I scurried up the remaining length of the rope and jumped over the railing. 

To get the upper hand in the situation I jumped up and climbed the mast. I swung my leg over and sat on one of the yards. Looking down I had a pretty good view of everything.

Jack climbed back up, and I noticed a pretty nice red mark on his forehead. He looked around for a moment, then shook his head. I watched in utter amazement as all his beads and hair and crap went flying. Water went everywhere. Some of it even hit ME and I was a good twenty feet off the deck! 

"GUH!" I moaned wiping my face. Jack looked up frightened for a moment, before he realized that it was only me. 

"What are you doin up there Love?!" he yelled walking over to the base of the mast. 

"Trying my best to keep me and my ass away from you!" I yelled back laying down and wrapping my arms around the yard. Being up high scared the crap outta me and I wanted to try my best and not to die before I got home. All of a sudden something occurred to me. "Hey!" I yelled down.

"What?" Jack said leaning against the mast.

"Where is your crew?" No one was anywhere. And you know, I thought that you needed at least two people to get a ship going. 

"I don't know Love." Jack turned and started climbing up the mast. "You are gonna hurt yourself if you stay up there." 

I looked down at him and panicked. I did not want him to join me especially when I was trying to get away from him. I didn't want to try and escape his grabbing hands when I was so high. "STAY THERE!" I yelled pointing to him. 

Jack however, didn't seem to care what I thought about him moving because he kept climbing. I took a deep breath and slowly pulled my self up to a crawling position. My knees were barely allowed to stay on because the yard was rounded. I began to crawl towards the nearest rope. Grabbing on to it for dear life, I undid the knot and prayed to every god that I could think of, that when I used it to get down I wouldn't die. 

Holding on tightly, I rolled off the yard and fell towards the deck. THANKFULLY the rope proved itself a good rope when it stopped short of the deck by three feet, and allowed me to drop safely to it. However about a second later, it proved itself a very bad rope when the sail came crashing down on my head. 

"AHH! MOTHERFUCKER!" I screamed as it landed on me. I fell on the deck and felt like I was being smothered. All I could see was the black canvas. Sure you might think this not so bad, but if you really think hard you will realize that sail material, or canvas, has to be really heavy in order to be used properly. So there I was lying flat on my back with a giant sail covering me. I thought I was gonna die. 

When one thinks that they are about to die, they make really weird and unusual decisions, which is what I did when I yelled, "JACK! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COME HELP ME!!!!" I started wildly thrashing and slashing at the sail in a weak attempt to get it off. 

"Hold still Love!" I heard from above me somewhere above me, or to the side. I wasn't quite in a mood to give a damn as to where he was, as long as he got me out. The very next second, I heard a ripping noise as I saw the glint of a knife pass uncomfortably close to my head.

"GOOD LORD!" I screamed, as he pulled me out of the hole made by said knife. I laid on my back for a moment breathing heavily. Looking over at him I saw that he was sitting on his knees looking rather smug. "Thank you." I said narrowing my eyes. 

"I-" he started, but before he could continue, he was interrupted by a 'poof' and a crash behind us. 

"OH MY GOD YOU JERK! HOW COULD YOU TACKLE MY LEGOLASY MELISSA ?!?!?!?!" I heard Cherice howl. 

I turned around and saw Melissa lying on top of Cherice and Legolas. "Melissa! Thank GOD!" I screamed jumping up and thanking the gods she had realized how to get here. 

~~~

All right I have wasted enough of your time. If you think I need to hurry up and update, please by all means tell me so in a review! [waves bottle of rum at you guys] Ciao loves!


	5. Nancy Prancy Elf Boy

YAY! More chapter-ness!

~~~

Jack turned and looked at Cherice and Melissa. "OH LOOK! It's the other ones!!" he sounded quite happy that they had been able to figure out how to get here too, but I think for a different reason. In fact I am pretty damn sure of it. Pervy Pirate.

The girls looked stood up and looked at Jack like he was insane, at least Cherice did. Melissa kinda looked at him like she was going to swoon and pass out or something. 

"Ladies! So nice to see you again!" Jack squealed walking up to them and wrapping his arms around their shoulders. Melissa looked particularly happy about this, but Cherice looked like she was about to kill something. 

"GET YOUR NASTY PIRATE PAWS OFFA ME!" Cherice yelped flinging Jack's arm off of her shoulder.

"Rice, you are an idiot!" Melissa said hugging Jack around the waist.

"Ooh! This is fun!" Jack said looking like he was in heaven. 

"Don't call me Rice." Cherice said looking positively poisonous. 

"Cherice, shut up, it's not my fault you fancy a Nancy Prancy elf boy." Melissa said looking up at Jack with a stupid grin on her face. 

Everything went silent. Even the waves seemed to have ceased crashing. Melissa's face paled and Jack looked at her quite puzzled. 

You see, if you make fun of Cherice's Legolas, then you can be sure that hell is to follow. 

"What…did…..you…….say?" Cherice said balling her fists and sprouting a very EVIL look. Even I was frightened. 

"Oh shit." Melissa said very quietly. She turned and faced Cherice who had Horns coming out of her head, and steam out of her ears. 

"You two!" I yelled grabbing Legolas and Jack, "Get back!" I took several steps back, and pulled them with me. 

"What in the name of Valor is going on?!" Legolas said looking a bit panicked. 

"It's best just to sit back, watch, and wait until it's over." I said looking up at him. 

"Cat fight?" Jack asked looking down at me.

"Cat fight." I replied looking gravely back up at him.

~~~

Ok short I know, but guess what? The next chapter? Yea, that is gonna be the cat fight.

And just for a twist, I am going to turn the girls into mary-sues for it, just so they can have "Magical Powers" to kick each others asses with. 

But only for that chapter..ok!?

Ok!

See you for now!


	6. Catfight!

Heheheh yea you know I am going to have oh so much fun with this one.

~~~

You never really know your friends unless you have witnessed them get into at least three catfights0. This was only Cherice and Melissa's second. The first one was pretty frightening, and Cherice wasn't even close to being as mad as she was right then. Basically, I was scared out of my mind. 

"How DARE YOU INSULT MY LEGOLAS!" Cherice screamed. Her voice became like that of the devil's, low and really scary.

Melissa, in retaliation, grew about five times her normal size. "BACK OFF BOWL OF RICE!"

Both Jack and Legolas hunched up and cowered behind me.

"DON'T!!!CALL!!!ME!!!RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!!!!!!!!" Cherice screamed raising her hands to the heavens. Almost immediately the sky darkened and lightning flashed. 

It was my turn to cower. I quickly turned around and hid behind Jack. Latching on to his coat I peeked my head over his shoulder to get a good look at what they were doing. Ever so slowly they were circling each other. 

"This is not normal behavior." Legolas said backing up. 

"Mate, you got that right." Jack replied following suit.

"You guys just better be quiet before they involve you in this." I said in Jack's ear. 

He jumped and turned his head. "Good lord Pet, I forgot you were there!"

"SHHHHH!" 

Cherice wiggled her fingers and yelled "SPIRIT FINGERS!" Lightning erupted from her fingers frying the sails above her. 

"Good lord." Jack mumbled.

"AWAAAAAAAAY!" she pointed her fingers again this time at Melissa, and well for lack of a better word, fired lightning from her fingers at her.

"YOU CAN'T GET ME!" Melissa laughed jumping up and dodging the lightning. Now when I say jumping up I don't mean jumping three inches into the air like normal people. No, I mean jumping UP like say three STORIES in to the air. "GASEOUS WINDS OF FURY!" Melissa screamed as a powerful wind started blowing the remainder of the sails around. 

Fortunately I recognized this attack. "Plug your noses!" I yelled pinching my nose to my face. 

"WHAT?!?" Legolas yelled, trying to be heard above the roar of the wind, that I knew soon would smell so bad, it could kill. 

"PLUG NOSE NOW!" I yelled back, pinching his nose. 

Jack threw his hands up to his face and covered his nose. "NO!" I yelled. "YOU AB TO PIINT IT!!!!" Jack immediately used one hand and pinched it. With one pinky in the air which, now that I think of it, was actually kinda funny considering you know….how he is. Aww come on man, he looked feminine! And Jack is anything but.

Anyway, back to the fight.

I knew by the fact that since this had happened before and Melissa had previously used this attack, that if you didn't plug your nose, either you would be in a lot of pain. Or to put it simply, you would die.

Yes my friends DIE. They don't call it Gaseous Winds of Fury for nothing folks.

Jack, Legolas and I all flew onto our backs as a great gust of wind spurted out of nowhere. We were a mess of arms and legs, trying desperately to keep our noses pinched. We all sat up just in time to see Cherice get knocked over flat on her back. 

She appeared to be knocked out, and I feared the worst for her. 

But alas seconds later she sprung back up, madder if possible than before. She threw aside the swimmers nose plug that had magically appeared on her nose, and yelled, "TIME TO KICK ASS!!!" 

Now this was a new attack to me, so when boots and shoes of all kinds started raining down from the sky, I was a bit surprised. I latched myself on to Jack, and Legolas did the same to me. 

We all sat there holding on to each other for dear life, fearing that one of the shoes might come in contact with our heads. 

I looked up at Melissa who appeared to be having problems of her own. Every shoe or boot that had rained down was coming in contact with her ass. 

She was literally getting booted in the ass.

Melissa gained her composure long enough to scream, "RECEDING HAIRLINE MAAAAAAN!" 

The boots ceased to fall, in fact they all fell to the ground. They stopped kicking her ass too. 

I cringed. I had heard of this attack only in stories, and usually they didn't end with "And they all lived happily ever after."

"What is happening now?" Legolas asked me, not loosening his grip around my shoulders. 

"Just duck down, and pray to every god you know of that this will be over soon." I replied. 

"Are we gonna die?" Jack said sounding worried. His grip around my waist tightened ever so slightly.

"We might." I replied in a hushed whisper.

We all lowered our heads and hugged each other as the strangest sound I had ever heard erupted all around us.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!"

I dared a glance up as the sky turned purple and the sun went blue, gray, and black ty dy. 

Cherice grimaced a little, but held her ground. All of a sudden though, she looked to be picked up by the hair and dragged around the deck. 

Jack looked up as Cherice started screaming. 

"NO YOU FOOL!" I cried pushing his head back down. "Keep down!!!" Jack quickly ducked his head back into the crook of my arm. 

With a thud, Cherice was thrown to the deck. She didn't move for a moment. From where I was, nothing appeared to be wrong. 

But then….

She sat up…

AND SHE WAS COMPLETELY BALD!

I KID you not!!! 

Melissa smirked as she shrunk back down to her normal size. Slowly Cherice brought her hand up to her head and screamed. 

"UNCLE!" she cried finally. 

"fwoooooooooo," I breathed as a sigh of relief.

"Love! Is it over?!" Jack asked from his hiding place in my arm.

"Yes I believe it is." I replied looking up as Melissa advanced towards Cherice. 

"Did you say 'Uncle'?" She asked looking down at her.

Cherice slowly nodded her head. "OK!" Melissa said brightly. Everything, including Cherice's hair immediately went back to normal. 

Melissa stuck out her hand and helped Cherice get up. "Well," she said, "That was a pretty good one. Now, what are the terms?"

For all of you who aren't familiar with our version of catfights, generally when one yells Uncle that means they are ready to agree to terms. And terms is something that each person has to do, for instance once Melissa had to wash Cherice's sheets for three weeks, while Cherice had to agree to never making Melissa eat street salt again. Just something to say "I am sorry for trying to kill you just a second ago" with.

"Never make fun of Legolas again." Cherice said as they started walking towards us arm in arm. 

"Alright, then you have to buy me a new CD player." Melissa replied.

"Agreed." Cherice said sticking out her hand for a handshake.

Well, by this time they had gotten about three feet away from us, and Jack, Legolas and myself all jumped up to meet them.

"Ok Legolassy, I am done." Cherice cooed unlatching herself from Melissa and reattaching herself to Legolas. 

Legolas cringed a little, then relaxed when Cherice whispered something into his ear. 

"Alright now everyone!" Jack yelled still holding on to my waist. "Let's just all thank god that is over! CELEBRATION TIME!" he screamed as he leaned down and kissed me. 

Yea

Kissed me. Right there! [points to mouth] I thought I was going to puke.

"AHHHH!" I screamed pushing my self out of his arms. "BAD MONKEY! BAD! BAD!"

"What?" he replied looking all innocent, like he didn't do anything wrong. 

I swear if things kept going like that, I was going to kill him. 

~~~

alright well hope that was fantastically entertaining for you all! By the way, if Jack just happened to kiss ME right there [points to mouth] I would not think I was going to puke. This is being said just so I don't start getting flaming reviews like "O MY GOD! HOW CULD U NOT LEIK JACK! U R SUCHA BICH AND UR STORIE SUX!" I think some of you know what I am talking about. Heheh, god life is weird….


	7. The Goddamned East India Trading Company

Woo! Sorry for such a long delay, it's just you know… there was this movie that came out on Tuesday…I don't know if any of you have heard of it. Wasn't really that big. It was actually pretty good. About pirates and gold and this blacksmith guy… There was this really hot pirate guy, but he wore eyeliner so I don't know…

Eh

So there is my crappy excuse for not updating this story in a while.

~~~

"I am going to kill you Jack Sparrow." I seethed through my teeth. I think he thought I was kidding though.

"Oh Pet, you know you wouldn't want to do that." He replied wrapping his arms around me. 

"No, I really think I do." I said unclasping his arm from around my shoulder. 

He grabbed both of my shoulders though and leaned down right in my face. "No, you see because if you did-then I couldn't have the honor of being with you." 

An honor? Did he just say honor? Was he trying to brown nose me?! 

"Well alright then...?" Cherice said turning towards Legolas. "Anyway-Legolas! Waddya say me and you go-uh-below decks eh?" she walked over to him and looped her arm through his. 

Then something really weird happened. Legolas kinda went all misty eyed and a goofy looking grin was formed really quick. "Yes, I believe I do."

I arched my eyebrow as they both turned around and headed for the door to below. Melissa and I both turned our backs on Jack and stared at the two as they disappeared below. There was a moment of silence before Jack found his voice.

"Hay mate! You better not use my bed!"

I slapped my forehead as Melissa did the same. "So what the hell was that all about?" I asked turning to face her. "I mean last time I checked Legolas wasn't taking too kindly to Cherice's sexually frightening advances."

Melissa turned positively green as she described something so kinky and interesting, that if I wrote it here, the computer would explode in a fiery mess and rot forever in the pits of hell. 

All I can say about it is it made the wheels in Jack's head start to turn.

"Bloody hell." Jack said wide eyed. He then turned to me and said. "Hey pet, you wanna try that some time?"

I looked at him with a 'I can't believe you just said that to me' look. Honor. Ha! My ass!

"Yea right. Why don't you try me again when a nice big 'ol ship from the East India Trading Company floats on by, captures us, and plants a nice big P on my arm then savvy?" I asked totally believing that this would never happen. I then immediately slapped my forehead because I realized that he was wearing off on me.

"Do you mean that?" Jack asked sounding very sincere.

"It's a promise." I replied unknowingly with my head in my hands.

"Well can we do it here on deck? And quick cuz you know these guys are pretty fast and they will catch up pretty quick."

"What are you talking about?" I heard Melissa ask.

I looked up from my hands and at Jack as he smiled at me and pointed behind me. I slowly turned around to face his point. Sure enough, there was a ship. It was a nice ship actually; too bad I was about to be branded a pirate by it. Oh I could have killed Jack.

I let out a string of swears so long and vulgar that I think I even surprised Jack. I couldn't believe that this was actually coming true. There was NO WAY in hell I wanted to-um-do that very bad thing Melissa had described with Jack. 

"THERE is NO way in HELL that, that is them!" Melissa shrieked running to the side of the ship and leaning over the railing.

"You have to be shitting me." I said staring wide eyed at the fast approaching ship.

"Oh no love, I know them when I see them. You see…I have met up with them before." Jack replied pulling up his shirtsleeve and showing me the P branded on his own arm. 

"I CAN'T BE BRANDED A FLIPPIN PIRATE!" I screamed grabbing on to his shoulders. 

"PET! CALM DOWN!" Jack said wrapping his arms around me. 

I was freaking out completely. Kinda strange because I had chosen THIS time to freak out, and not at the point where I had first seen Jack. No, I mean seeing Jack Sparrow just appear in my math class wouldn't freak me out as much as a ship coming at me. No, not at all.

I pulled myself out of his arms and pulled at the one with the P on it.

"This can't be happening." I mumbled studying it.

"I can't have a P burned into my beautiful skin!" Melissa cried not paying any heed to Jack or me. "This is utter crap!"

"Fuck." I whined looking back up at Jack. He actually kinda looked a little sympathetic, his forehead was furrowed together and I almost thought that I was

glad that I had wished for him. 

Then he broke out in a giant grin and grabbed me around the waist. "Speaking of which." He pulled me close and growled in my ear, "A promise is a promise pet."  

"ARG!" I screamed pushing myself out of his arms. I started to back up as I yelled, "FUCK NO!"

I took another step back, as he took one forward smiling very hard. Unfortunately I didn't see the rope that I was about to trip over. So I went sprawling on my back, which believe you me, is not the best position to be in with a pirate around. Especially one like Jack.

"AHHHRG!" I screamed as Jack jumped onto my stomach and pinned my arms over my head. 

"Oh quit your whining," Jack said leaning down, I would guess to kiss me. 

"MELISSA! HELP ME!" I yelled turning my head so that Jack's lips came in contact with my hair.

Melissa turned around slowly and looked at the position I was in. Her face cracked out in a mad grin as she replied, "And why the hell would you need help?"

I widened my eyes at her. Since that day I still haven't forgiven her for it.

Ok that's a lie.

But still. I wasn't too happy at the time.

I turned my head again to face Jack as he said, "See?" and smirked. 

I had to think fast about what I was going to do because it looked like he was going in for another go at kissing me. So I did, and I realized that Legolas was kind of partial to keeping us safe from Jack. So I screamed-"LEGOLAAAAAS!!!! HEEEEEEELLLLLPPPP MEEEEEEEE!"

Seconds later I heard thumping across the deck and saw the glint of a knife pressed against Jack's throat.

There was a silent moment as Jack stopped and stared at me wide eyed. His eyes then slowly slid up to Legolas, who was looking really lethal like. 

Then I heard Melissa start laughing. Really hard.

"BUAHAHAH! OH MY GOD!" she screamed. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I yelled noticing there were several sails from the India ship peeking over the railing. 

"You guys are just the funniest thing I have seen ever!" she replied bending over and laughing like a maniac. 

I looked up and thought about it. There I was with a pirate straddling me, and an elf (who was, I just noticed, clad only in pants) holding a knife to the pirate's neck. I immediately broke out laughing. It was kinda funny.

Jack started to laugh too, but stopped when Legolas pressed the knife a little harder. "Get off of her." He whispered menacingly. 

Oh how I loved the elf at that moment.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!" I heard Cherice yell from behind me. I turned my head back and saw her standing there with her shirt on inside out and her shoes in her hand. 

"Ship." I heard Melissa say. Once again I turned my head to see Melissa pointing in the direction of the sails, which I noticed were a lot bigger. 

"Shit." Jack mumbled pushing Legolas' knife aside and rolling off me. I sat up and Jack did something kind of weird. He extended his hand to help me up. I looked at it for a moment, before looking up at him. "What?" he said pushing his hand into my face. "I am trying to help you up, is that ok?"

I blinked at him trying to understand what he was getting at. Shrugging I grabbed his hand and he pulled me to my feet. 

"Thanks." I said looking in his eyes. They were kind of nice…like chocolate almost.

"Yea." He replied sadly turning. I have no idea why he was sad. Oh wait, yes I do. It was because of the ship whose crew was beginning to board the Pearl. 

"HUDDLE!" Melissa screamed. 

Cherice and I immediately ran over to Melissa and huddled up with her. "Ok, what do we do?" Cherice whispered quickly glancing over to her elf, who was trying to fend several men off. "I don't have much time to make up a brilliantly exquisite plan."

"We could try and fight." Melissa whispered. 

"No. We don't know how." I replied.

"Yea, that would help if we did, wouldn't it?" Melissa said looking downcast. 

"I say on the count of three we all split up and run around shitless for a while. See what happens then. Sound good?" I asked noticing Legolas and Jack had been taken and were being tied up. Also that there were a few guys coming straight for us. 

The two looked to each other and nodded. "Agreed" they both said looking back at me. 

The officers were about two feet away from us, and I decided that there was no time for one let alone two, "THREE!" I screamed breaking apart from them. I hightailed it to the nearest rope ladder and started to climb. Now I know what you all are thinking-(isn't it weird how I do that so often?) 'Why would you climb a rope ladder when the guys could easily get you, Mary?' well first off, my name isn't Mary. Second, yes they could easily see me, but only one dude could climb the rope at a time. And with a good kick of my foot could easily be knocked down. 

And everything was going well, until I realized that I was really high up. Now as mentioned previous I am rather afraid of heights, so I froze. "Holy fuck." I whimpered looking down. Unfortunately for me, since I had become a frozen statue like thing, the guy under me caught up to me, grabbed my ankle and started to pull…HARD.

And since I was all unprepared and unawares, I lost my grip and fell to the deck. 

All I remember before falling into the land of All That is Fuzzy Then Black, is Jack yelling. "MELISSA!" and me thinking 'Awww isn't that nice?'

And then all there was, was fuzzy then black.

~~~

ouch that was long. 

  
  



	8. A Kiss or Two Or Three Or Four I Don't R...

[Grin] I know what you all are thinking. "Why the hell are you taking so long to update this?!" Well I don't know!! Don't yell at me!! 

Anyway, here you are I update now. 

~~~

I slowly woke up to the feeling of something wet being dabbed on my forehead. Upon opening my eyes I came to see that it was Legolas who was dabbing my head, which happened to be in his lap. I looked up at him and arched an eyebrow, "Um, hello." I said.

"How are you feeling?" he replied. Surprisingly I felt almost no pain whatsoever, except for something bugging me on my right arm, nothing. 

"Why no I hurt?" I asked pushing his hand out of the way and looking up at him. I heard Cherice's answer from in front of me.

"Well you see, Legolassy healed you with his nifty Elvin healing powers! I never knew they could come in such handyness." I let this information sink in a little, before sitting up and looking around. 

'EEEE!' I thought, 'Where the HELL AM I?!' 

Then I realized that this loverly place was probably the brig of that East India ship. This ship was a lot nicer than the Pearl, a lot shiner. Looking around some more I realized something strange. There were three cells, and in each cell were two people. And this was strange to me because the math didn't add up. Last time I had checked there were only five of us, Legolas, me, Cherice, Jack, and Melissa. See? Five. 

Melissa and Cherice were in the cell to the right of me, Legolas was in the one with me, and Jack with the mystery person was in the cell to my left. 

I stood up and noticed the sleeve from my shirt was missing, "What happened here?" I asked pointing to my bare arm.

"'Ello lass, glad to see you're up." Jack replied getting up and snaking his arms through the bars of his cell. "Look down at yer arm." 

I looked at him for a second; he smiled weakly and jerked his head down. I felt kinda bad about calling him a dumbass with a stick at that moment. 

Dropping my eyes to my arm I noticed that the sleeve of my shirt was wrapped around it. 'Oh,' I thought, 'This is why my arm is bugging me.' 

I quickly untied it to reveal a good sized 'P' burned into my arm. 

"AWWWWFUCK!" I yelled throwing the cloth to the ground. "My mother is NOT going to like this." I looked up as the mysterious figure stood up and started to come out of the shadow. I think I kind of lost it at that point, "AND WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!?!" I screamed pointing to it. 

The figure stepped out of the shadows to reveal a very familiar face. He smiled a little as he stuck his hand through the bars for a handshake and replied with, "I am William Turner. It's nice to finally meet you, well meet you awake." 

I stared at him wide eyed as I took his hand and shook it. I then started to giggle, "Tee hee," I said pulling my hand back, "Blacksmith hands."

He looked at me funny for a moment and then said, "How did you know?" 

I smiled, "Lucky guess. ANYWAY!" I yelled making Will jump, "Can someone tell me what the hell happened?"

Everyone turned and looked at Jack. I could totally see that one coming.

"What?!" Jack yelled pulling his arms back and putting them up in his defense. "I didn't do anything!"  
"Oh just shut up and tell her what happened." Melissa said from behind me. 

I turned around just in time to see Cherice smack Melissa and say, "Stupid, how can he shut up and tell her at the same time?"

Melissa smacked her back and said, "Shut up, Jack answer the question."

Everything was silent for a moment as Jack soaked up this conversation and tried to make sense of it.

"Jack-" I said walking up to him and turning his head to face mine, a surprising action on my part. "I have a P burned on my arm. Would you care to tell me why this is?" 

He looked a little uncomfortable for a second and shook his head out my hand. "Well lass you see, because you were sailing with a pirate these lovely gents here who locked us up, decided that you also are a pirate. That's why you have you have that P on your arm. See? I have one too." He pulled up his sleeve and pointed to his arm. 

"Yes, I know." I replied shaking my head. 

"Since you seem to know a lot, would you mind telling me why that guy standing next to you looks an awful lot like me?" Will asked as he walked over to stand back in front of me. 

I scratched my head and looked from Legolas back to Will trying to come up with a good explanation. Cherice luckily came to my rescue. Sorta.

"I TOLD you! You guys are twins from different plains of existence." 

Everyone looked at her like she had a giant bug on her head. "You know, I am not even going to try and comprehend what the bloody 'ell she just said." Jack replied from behind me. 

I turned back around to face Will's confused-er-face. "Past life." I said simply. 

"What?" he replied. 

"Past life. Legolas is your past life." I said tilting my head. If this explanation was too much for him, too bad because that was the best I could do at the moment.

"Ah. I like her explanation better, much easier to understand." Will said looking over to Cherice. She scowled at me as she does not like being bested over within the presence of sexy men. 

I looked around at everyone for a second. "Hey, are we all branded?"

One by one everyone lifted their sleeves and presented me with loverly Ps on their arms. Even the lovely Elvish skin was branded. 

"Thanks a lot DUMBASS WITH A STICK!" I yelled slapping Jack through the bars. Obviously my remorse for calling him that earlier dissolved like butter in a hot pan.

"No lass, I have a sword-" he replied pointing to his side. He looked down and said sadly, "Oh wait, no I don't, they took it." He slumped his shoulders as he turned around and sat down. 

"AND THEY TOOK LEGOLAS' BOW!!! HIS BOW MELISSA! HE IS NOTHING WITHOUT HIS BOW!" Cherice yelled from behind me jumping up and down. 

I turned and looked at Legolas who was looking slightly frightened. 

Then I got an idea. 

"LEGOLAS!" I screeched. Said elf jumped a little and turned to me. 

"Yes?" 

"Listen, I want you to tackle me." I said bracing myself to the floor.

"Excuse me?" he replied looking a little surprised at my request. I don't blame him, I mean how would YOU respond if someone just yelled at you and told you to tackle them?

"Tackle me, I have an idea on how we can get ourselves out of here. But you have to tackle me!"

You see, it all makes perfect sense. If you remember whenever one of us girls tackled a character, we would travel to another place. From mine and Melissa's math room to the forest of Middle Earth to the Pearl. And since the sailors from the East India thing had made the mistake of putting me in a cell with Lego it only made sense that he tackles me. 

"But I don't want to hurt you." Legolas replied putting his hands on my shoulders and straightening me up. 

"Well, if you tackle me we can get back on the Pearl, remember how you got from the forest to the ship? Melissa tackled you!" I yelled getting a little impatient. 

"Yes! That might work!" Legolas cried letting me go. 

"NOOOO!" Cherice cried, "DON'T TACKLE LEGGY!"

"She's right," Legolas said looking down at me. "I might hurt you, why don't you tackle me instead?"

I saw Cherice slap her head in frustration.

"Can you please tell me what the hell is going on?" Will asked. 

"Shut up boy, the lass is going to get us out." Jack said standing up and slapping Will over the head. 

"HEY!" Melissa cried from the other cell, "Don't hit him you big evil pirate!"

Will looked up at Melissa and his expression softened just a little. Why this was, I was not sure. Unfortunately I was about to find out. Ok, that kinda didn't make sense but so far none of this has, just keep reading.

"So you fancy the dear William aye?" Jack asked sounding slightly amused. 

"Your damn right I do," Melissa replied looking manic. "He is a righteous dude. And he's sexy too!" 

Will had acquired this sort of schoolboy in love look. It was freaking me out just a little bit I can tell you that much. 

"You like her back?" I asked.

"Uh huh." He replied.

"WILL! What about Elizabeth?!" I screeched. 

He then took on this sad look, and it made me sad. I mean he looked so lost and upset, it almost made me cry. That is until he answered. 

"A fatal rat attack, I have never been able to look at cheese the same way since."

And no one said a damn thing.

"Right well." I said turning to Legolas, "Let's just go now before things get really weird."

I got myself ready to go crashing into the blond elf, but immediately stopped when a loud screaming cat like noise filled the air. 

"WAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" it cried. I turned to see it was only Cherice flailing her arms around. "I need to give Legolas his good luck kiss!!!!"

I groaned. Cherice could be SUCH an ass sometimes. Legolas walked over to Cherice and started kissing her through the cells. 

"Urk!" I grunted as I crossed my arms and turned my back to them. 

"Hello lass." Jack said smiling cheekily. "Where's my good luck kiss?"

"Up your ass," I replied sneering. "Have fun trying to find it." There was no way in hell I was going to kiss him. At least that's what I wanted to think. I mean come on people, he was really hot. Kinda. 

"Please?" he gave me that puppy dog look as he said that. "Just a little one. I promise I won't disappoint you."

People. It is a KNOWN fact that I cannot resist the puppy dog look. 

"Fine." I replied. Jack broke out into a giant grin. 

He opened his arms wide and stuck them through the bars, "Commere." He said smiling. 

I walked up to him and he wrapped his arms around me, well the best you can do from a jail cell. "Touch my ass and consider your nose bitten off." I sneered in his face.

"I can deal with that." He replied his smile never faltering. Hmm. That sounded clichéd.

"Ok-what-how d' we?" I stuttered, I honestly had no idea what the hell to do. 

"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE JUST KISS THE DAMN MAN!" Melissa screamed. 

I opened my mouth to say something witty and incisive but was cut off by Jack's mouth. 

I hate to admit it, but he actually kissed me quite nicely. A little hard, but hey-I'm not complaining.

And only when Will coughed loudly did I pry myself away from Jack.

"See?" he said. "That wasn't so bad was it?" 

"Nuh uh." I replied rubbing my lips together. 

"Alright Legolas-" I started as I turned around. Unfortunately the scene I met when I did was kinda scary. 

Legolas and Cherice were ferociously making out through the bars. Poor Melissa was standing there staring at them in awe and maybe even a little fear.

'LEGOLAS!" I screamed stomping my foot. He quickly detached himself from Cherice and turned to face me in time to scream as I tackled him to the ground.

~~~

[girly scream]

[laugh hysterically]

Can YOU imagine Legolas screaming?!?!?

It's a funny thing


	9. Going Poof

I am updating now! YAY! doesn't that make you just the slap happiest thing in the entire world?!?

~~~

"...And he had a gun! So of course I threw myself on the man to prevent him from harming the children, but the girls...they tripped over me in the process of fleeing from the room; fell and were GONE!" I heard Mr. C say as I untangled myself from Legolas. 

"HEY!" I yelped, "You didn't throw yourself on Jack- me and Melissa tackled him! And if I recall correctly, you were standing in the corner screaming like a girl!" 

As you can probably tell me and Legolas had landed back in my math room, in the middle of a conversation between my math teacher and a very burly cop. 

"You're version is a little skewed Mr. C." I continued crossing my arms. 

It was that moment that I realized that opening my big mouth was quite possibly the biggest mistake of my life, because no sooner had the words escaped my mouth, Mr. C. got this kinda glazed look in his eyes as he turned to face me.

"MELISSA!" He squealed rather girlishly. "Look officer! This is one of the girls!" 

The police officer made a face like 'Yhea, you really need to be in the looney bin.' 

My teacher didn't notice though because he had decided that a big hug from him was in my future. 

I did NOT like the aspect of THAT. 

I tried to move, tried to desperately dodge his moment of insanity, but my feet were glued to the ground. 

Fortunately my mouth still worked. In fact, it has yet to fail me!

"Legolas! LEGOLAS!" I cried as my teacher got closer and closer. "TACKLE! NOW! ME! GOOO!" and just as Mr. C. crossed the invisible personal space line, I felt Legolas tackle me to the ground. 

Upon sitting up I realized that we were in another classroom. I recognized it as being Cherice's history class. You see, I had to pickup her homework one week when she was home for a sore toe. 

Luckily the room was empty, or so we thought. 

"Ok Legolas, according to my calculations we only have to do this two more times." I said looking up at him as he stood up. 

"Let us hurry, we don't know what those East India men might be doing to Cherice." He replied, bending down and pulling me up. 

The we heard it...

"Cherice? I once knew a girl named Cherice." 

Legolas and I both jumped about three feet into the air. So much for his Elvin senses. 

After recuperating from the freak attack, we slowly turned around and were face to face with Cherice's history teacher. 

"She's not here now though, in fact she magically disappeared with the man you just appeared with!" He continued with a smile that screamed, 'I have just gone completely INSANE!' which was actually quite true. "Well guys, it's been real nice, but I think I am going to just go check myself into a mental hospital now. It's been a hard day." He picked up his things and just walked past us and out the door. 

"Well-" I said blinking ferociously, "At least he didn't-" 

But before I could finish my sentence, Cherice's teacher poked his head back into the room and said with a giant grin, "Now don't forget kids, safe sex is the best sex!" And with that he disappeared back into the hallway as I felt my face turn all 72 shades of red. 

Legolas looked down at me, "What's sex?" he asked looking genuinely curious.

I opened and closed my mouth in a futile attempt to explain the _art_ of sex to him. Luckily a better thought popped into my mind, "When we get back, you can ask Cherice. She will be glad to tell you!"

"Very well," Legolas replied. "Let us get this over with." And once again we sprinted towards each other, crashed into one another, and fell to the ground. 

"Ooookay Legolas, next time-let's try not aiming for my head." I said massaging the spot where some part of the elf had come in contact with my head. I could tell there was going to be a giant bruise right in the middle of my forehead in which no amount of concealer could conceal.

"Here-Let me help." Legolas replied, gently peeling my hand of off my forehead. 

"Have at it." I said dropping my arm to the side. 

What happened next was quite possibly the COOLEST thing I had ever experienced in my life. 

Legolas gently placed his fingers on the sore spot and mumbled some words which were undoubtedly Elvin. But the best part was the tingling that started at my head and went all the way to my toes. WOO! It was the best thing I had ever felt in my life. And afterwards, my head didn't hurt AT ALL!

"Wooooow, that was cool." I said grinning stupidly. 

Legolas smiled and said, "Good, your head isn't as red."

"Thanks." I replied looking around. "Hey, where are we?" I realized that we were in the forest we had first met Legolas in. 

"This is Mirkwood." He replied looking around. "My home." 

"Hey, is the War of the Ring over yet?" I asked. 

"The what?" He replied looking down at me with a puzzled expression.

Oops, I though, guess that hasn't happened yet. "Uh, nothing. I was just thinking out loud." 

"All right, let's just go. Only once more right?" He asked stepping back.

"I pray so." I replied stepping back. "Ok...............GO!"

Instead of the familiar crashing into Leggy, I ran for him, heard a sort of popping noise, and went right THROUGH him!!! I was so surprised that I forgot to stop running, and unfortunately, I was running right for something. 

"POLE! POLE!!!!" I screamed flailing my arms, still unable to stop. Luckily someone grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me down. "ARRR-OOOF!" I grunted as I went crashing on my back. 

I looked up and saw Will's very amused face. "Kiss my ass pirate boy." I said to his smirk. 

Of course, Legolas and I had made it back to the Pearl. At the moment I hadn't noticed that Will was out of the cell and we were sailing along with no sign of the East India people. But you will see I do in a moment. Right after I dealt with Jack.

Will bent down and pulled me up, just like Legolas had done, and then I heard it.

"LASS!!!!" 

I flinched and turned slowly to see Jack racing towards me going AT LEAST four hundred miles an hour. 

"AHHH!" I screamed jumping into Will's arms and burying my head in his neck. "Don't let him get me!!!" 

"Here Jack!" Will said gleefully as he threw me into Jack's arms. OOOOH that boy was SCREAMING for a good head smacking. 

"Lass! I missed ye soooo much!" Jack squealed swinging me around...and around...and around. This spontaneous violent love he was showing me was making me sick...literally. Especially when he set me down and started squeezing the bejeesus out of me. 

"JACK!" I gasped, "Let me breath! I NEED TO BREATH." 

Jack giggled and released me from his death grip. "Ye has been gone so long...I am just so glad to see you lass!" 

"Believe me," I replied, "The feeling is definitely one sided."

It was then that I realized that they were out of the cells. 

"HEY!" I yelled. "How did you guys get out of the brig?! And what do you mean I have been gone for so long-we were only gone twenty minutes at the MOST!" 

"Actually...you two were gone about a week." I heard Melissa say from behind me.

I turned to face her, and saw that she looked like she had neither changed her clothes nor bathed in a week. 

"But how?!" I asked. 

"Something having to do with a space/time continuum?" she shrugged. "I dunno." 

It was then that I finally realized Legolas was gone. "Alright guys, where is the elf?" I asked planting my hands on my hips. 

The fact that I had said that, just at that moment, was the most worst thing that ever could have happened. 

Because it was that moment that Cherice came up.

"MY ELF IS GONE?!?!" She screamed looking panicked. "WE HAVE TO GO FIND HIM! JACK! YOU ARE GOING WITH ME!" 

And before you could say 'This day can't get worse' Cherice ran right for Jack, taking Melissa with him in the poof that soon followed. 

Will and I stood there for a moment dumbfounded. "Oh my god!" I moaned. 

"I'll bet you ten shillings it takes them a week to get back." Will said totally ignoring my apparent misery. 

"How can you think of betting at a time like this?!" I squealed. 

"I bet Melissa." He said in response, looking quite smug.

I took a deep and slow breath. "Did you win?" 

"Five shillings and a backrub!" He replied grinning. "Are you going to bet me?"

"Two weeks." I replied reluctantly.

"You're on." Will said shaking my hand.

"This is going to be the longest two weeks of my life." I said sitting down on the deck.

"It could only be one week." Will said hopefully as he sat down next to me.

I took that moment to give him the head whacking that he had earned earlier.

~~~


	10. Falling off a ship six times ok seven

Hey guys! New chapter! But first…as promised…I am about to flame a few flames I got on Friday!

First to Morningstar Devereaux -

Fist off,-calling me bitch? Jeez, what side of the PMS bed did you wake up on? I don't recall ever doing anything to you honey. And secondly, my "mindless random crap" seems to be attracting a lot of attention from people whom find this stuff amusing…LIKE IT IS INTENDED!

Whether you think so or not is not really of my concern seeing as you are an insignificant floater who was obviously having a bad day and decided to take it out on an innocent story. Next time you feel like taking your anger out on something-go yell at yourself in the mirror.

THIS FLAME HAS BEEN BURNED!

SECONDLY to Black Pearl-

First off I would like to comment you on your _original_ name. [sarcastic snigger] I am sure that the other 543 girls out there with the same name would appreciate it if you made it a little more personal. Secondly honey, I know what his name is. In fact I even know what it means in elvish. Whether you believe it or not I have enough sense to actually read the book before claiming I know what I am talking about. And I really don't care if you can't find this funny. I am sure I can find a _few_ people out there that would love to disagree with you! Can I ask you a question though…the addition sign thing…a little over dramatic there. A simple hit of the 'enter' key would have done nicely. My last comment to you is…lasto lalaith nin! Heniach nin? 

THIS FLAME HAS BEEN BURNED!

On a final note to all future flamers, I thank you, because you make that little number at the bottom of my story go up. You people have to understand, I had 77 reviews but now I have 79. THANK YOU!

And now…here is what (most) of you came for!

~~~

For all of your information neither Will nor I won the bet. 

It took three weeks.

THREE WEEKS!!!!!!!!!

And no, for all of you out there wondering, Will and I did not have an illicit love affair that we later had to deny on behalf of Melissa. 

Please people, after all of this time I would think you could have learned a few things about what I am NOT! 

Actually the most entertaining thing I had done in all those weeks was to learn how to tie a knot, fall off the ship six times, and form a Hate/Hate relationship with Will. Stupid annoying pirate boy.

So I was wringing out my hair one day (did I say six times, I meant seven) when Will comes up to me wanting to go to Tortuga.

"We are kind of low on supplies, and Tortuga is the closest port." He said winding a coil of rope around his arm.

"There is no way I am going to that place. One person takes me as being a hooker, and that's it. I am left with memories I'd rather not have." I replied giving him an evil look. 

"Well you don't have much of a choice do you?" Will said trying to be all macho Pirate Man. "Unless you want to jump off the ship again and swim off?" I take the Pirate Man comment back. More of Smart Ass Really Needs an Ass Whuppin Pirate Boy.

"Alright Pirate Boy, you asked for it." I seethed. But just as I was about to open up a can of whup ass on his ass, for the second time in three weeks someone grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled back. "Ok, who else is now going to get their ass kicked?" I asked turning around.

"'Ello Lass. Miss me?" Jack said smiling with all of his golden teeth glory. 

"No." I replied simply. His face fell a little and I felt bad for him. "Ok I missed you a little." I added hugging him. 

"Yes, that is what I thought." He said. I could hear the satisfied smile in his reply. 

"Ok-get off me." I said pushing myself away, "Where are me mates?"

"Well, you see. We had kind of a problem." Jack replied looking a little more than worried.

"What are you saying?" I asked as calmly as I could.

"Here- I will let this one tell you-she seems to have a be'er grasp of these things than I do." Jack stepped away to reveal Melissa standing directly behind him looking rather satisfied with herself.

"Basically," She said. "Cherice is back at school, and Legolas is back in Mirkwood where he belongs." 

"Wait-so Cherice is gone? And so is Legolas?!" I screeched trying to get the facts straight.

"Yup." Melissa replied simply.

"But I didn't even get to say goodbye to Legolas!" I cried sinking to my knees. I wasn't so concerned about Cherice, because I knew she was back in a place where she couldn't hurt herself or her fellow elf.

"He gave you a note! He gave one to Cherice too, but seeing as she's not here…I am kinda scared about what he wrote to her…Here take yours." She replied handing me a folded sheet of paper.

The note, incase you all are wondering, read exactly as thus-

__

Mel, 

It was a pleasure knowing you. I am deeply saddened by the fact that we probably will never see each other again. Whatever magic that brought me to you, Cherice, and Melissa, has with no doubt dissolved by now. You will forever be in my memories. 

Silo Anor bo men lin, 

Legolas 

"He is such a sweet Elven Prince dude." I said wiping a tear away from my face. Come on people, I was sad. After knowing the guy for a while it was going to be hard to let him go. ESPECIALLY because I didn't say goodbye. It was like 'ouch' to the 10th power.

"Yea I know I will miss him too." Melissa said sadly. "But anyway, this brings up the subject of us getting back." 

"Wait-you want to go back?" I asked, highly confused. "Even after just meeting your Willy boy?" 

"Actually-" Melissa whispered pulling me aside, "Yes, he is a little different than I thought, cute yes. But maybe not my type. I will tell you one thing-he is pretty good for a good make out session." 

I groaned and stood back up fully, "Ok, so how do we get out of here?"

"Ye two are leaving?" Jack asked coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my shoulders. "But we just got back."

"I know Jack, but I really need to get home, I have a lot of homework and my mother is making macaroni tonight and I have dish duty." I think we all know the importance of Dish Duty? Besides, I was really tired of falling off of the ship. And I really wanted my bed, and a shower, and soap, and the internet, and my books…sorry.

"But I don't want you to go." Jack said squeezing me. 

"I know, the life on the high seas is highly appealing, but Mel is right. I have homework too." Melissa said shifting on her feet. I am sure she was thinking of a nice, hot, soapy shower too.

"But what about me? Aren't I appealin' enough to make ye stay?" Jack asked pulling me around and looking me in the eye.

"Jack, you have to understand something. I DO NOT LIKE YOU LIKE THAT!" I yelled. "IF YOU WERE ABOUT 25 YEARS YOUNGER AND ACTED LIKE YOU WERE 13 YEARS OLDER THEN YOU MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE!" I snorted and coughed for a second before regaining my breath and turning back around. 

"Now, Melissa. Tell me how to go home."

~~~

For some reason that chapter seemed a little different. Anyway-the next chapter will be the last. [drops a bomb] oops sorry about that. Hope I didn't hit any toes! [people explode] [I cringe] ooh, you might just want to put a band aid on that!

I am possibly thinking of a sequel though. POSSIBLY! And reviews like "OMG! YOU HAVE TO WRITE A SEQUEL!" will not make me write one, though I am flattered that you want another story. 

[waves] see you then!


	11. The Wish Ends

ndLast Chapter people! And just to be a nice little author, at the end of the chapter I will do review replies. 

See you below!

~~~

"But LAAAASS!" Jack squealed, "I don't want ye to leeeeeave." I turned and looked at him. He had a pained look on his face, but I wasn't falling for that one. Not again at least.

"Well Jack I am so sorry about that. But I am not going to stay here and be your semi permanent cabin winch." I replied saucily. Cabin winch my ass.

"Mel-" Melissa whispered nudging my side, "Mel, its cabin wench. Not winch."

"Shut up." I whispered back. Ok. Cabin wench my ass.

"Ok but anyway." Melissa started, flinging her arms, "It was said that all we have to do to get back to our time was run into each other, all of us. Me, you, Will, and…the pervy You fancier." Melissa looked behind me with a strange look. 

I turned around to find Jack sneaking up behind me with a determined look in his eye.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I yelled.

"Nothing! I swear!" Jack replied jumping to the side and looking quite surprised. For some reason I really didn't believe him. Again.

"YOU LIE!" I screamed coming at him. "What were you doing?! I am a very pissed off she-woman and I am NOT in the mood for your CRAP!" 

Jack got a kind of weird little smile on his face and said, "You want to know? You really want to know what I was about to do?"

I growled and hissed in reply. "Tell me."

Jack raised his eyebrows and sauntered up to me. "I was going to do this!" He said as he latched his two hands squarely upon my ass and pulled me up to him.

"Remember Jack, cup-don't grab." Melissa said smart assed like behind me.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!" I screamed not being able to take it any more. "YOU FIRST!" I pointed to Jack.

"Aww, come, come lass. This is proba'ly the last time I am ever going to see ye," Jack whined trying to sound really upset.

"Yes, and this is the last time I will ever see the ocean, if you don't mind I would like to savor it while I still can. If you don't unclasp your hands from my butt right now, I will unleash the greatest terror upon you that you have ever seen, you will not be able to sleep for years." I seethed in his face. 

Ooh, I do love being threatening.

"But what about that li'l kiss down in the brig those few weeks ago?" He asked looking smug.

Oh, he had me there. While I did enjoy it, I don't think I should have done it. Ok I KNOW I shouldn't have done it. My mother would throttle me if she ever found out. So what did I do? I pretended like it never happened!

"What kiss? I never kissed you. Why would I kiss you? All you have ever done to me is grab my ass and make disgusting passes at me!" 

Jack looked hurt. He pulled his hands off my behind and took a step back.

Now I know what you all are thinking. (again, yes I know. I know all) STUPID MARY –SUE! HOW DARE YOU BETRAY THE SEXINESS THAT IS JACK! You guys don't understand do you? Not every character in a story ends up with the sexy guy at the end.  

"Well, about you two getting back." I heard Will say from behind Jack.

"Yes, let us just do that…" Melissa said backing up.

"Bye bye Jack." I said backing up also.

"Eh, I never really liked ye that much anyway lass." Jack whispered at me as he grinned devilishly.

Of course, that pissed me off, which made tackling into him that much more fun.

"JACK! YOU ARE A STUPID-" I started, beginning to run. 

At the same time Melissa and Will took off at Jack too. 

"-AND I WON'T MISS YOU AT ALL!" I screamed as we all went crashing into him. 

Right before I poofed out, I thought I could distinctly hear, "I might."

~

"Adding the matrices is quite simple. In fact- Mel? Melissa? Do you two want to stand in the corner?" 

I lifted my head from my desk and looked around. Judging from the look of my teacher and the heavy feeling in my eyes I had been asleep for a good thirty minutes. 

"Sixteen men on a dead man's ship." I said rubbing my eyes.

"Excuse me?" Mr. C. said.

I shook my head and looked up at him. "Nothing. Sorry I slept. I had a long night last night. The Math channel was having an all night marathon on parabolas." 

"Yea," Melissa cut in yawning. "I guess we just couldn't pass that up."

"Right, well try and stay awake just a little bit longer, class is over in five minutes." Mr. C. said looking proud.

I yawned and stretched a little as my math teacher continued with the lesson. 

"I had the weirdest dream." I said turning to Melissa. 

"I did too. Jack Sparrow was in it. With wishes, and ships, and going poof." She replied scratching her head.

I stared at her. "Mine did too! And…Cherice, with Legolas!" I hissed scratching my arm. 

"Wow, I guess we are kindred souls. Having the same dreams. Yea I think we can consider that a little more than coincidence." Melissa whispered back.

"Yea," I breathed looking ahead. 

"You were a really big jerk to Jack." Melissa said after a moment. 

"Meh, he deserved it. Dumbass with a stick." I continued scratching my arm. "God! What the hell is up with my arm?!" I looked down at my forearm and saw right above my wrist, the letter P burned into my arm.

"Melissa," I said holding up my arm to her face. "Something tells me that something really weird has happened here."

Melissa opened her eyes wide and looked down at her own arm. "This is SO cool! We have Ps burned into our arms! Do you know what this MEANS!?" 

"Yea, that my mother is going to kick my ass when I get home." I replied sullenly. Then it hit me. Everything I had just dreamt had been true. 

"OH MY GOD!" I yelled startling the teacher and several half asleep kids. 

"I KNOW! LET'S MAKE ANOTHER WISH!" Melissa screeched. "I WISH-"

~~~

Ok guys, it's quite obvious that I am probably going to write a sequel. Yes, it will be under Pirates, and next time it might have a better plot. (This one, as you read in the beginning chapter, doesn't really have one. ((For all those who pointed that out, DUH! I knew that.)))

Just give me some time on it! 

Ok on to the review replies!

Oh dear, that's a lot of reviews…here I go!

**Anonymous**-I am glad the story stuck with you, I like having that effect on people! [gloats]

**Wolfeblayde**- I am really sorry that your sense of humor differs from so many in the world. Thanks for reviewing!

**Theatrefreak41**- [sighs] it's the people like you that I love writing for. I agree that people should just say what's wrong with the story in a mature way instead of bashing it like there is no tomorrow. Thanks for thinking my story is that good! Love you! [kisses!]

**Black Pearl-** You already know what I have to say to you, and if you have a problem with someone defending me, you have a problem with yourself. Back off of my friends. But thanks for your reviews!

**Lalaith Luinil**- This was just supposed to be a silly story for people's entertainment. Not a Pulitzer Prize winning novel. Thank you though for the suggestions, when I write my next English paper I will look back on this review to help me. 

**Taghdach**- OMG! LEIK yOu ArE So FeELINGS HurTiNG! It reflects on a person who reviews a story and then bashes the author because of the reviews that are left. If you want to call something shit fine, that's your opinion and I respect that. But a review whore? Please, I am just a regular whore. Let me ask you a question, would you read a story with 10 chapters and 2 reviews? No? I didn't think so! [Lights your shoes aflame] BURN BABY BURN! Thanks for your review!

**Ca**-some people enjoyed it. I don't ask that people enjoy it. I want people to read it and give me suggestions on how to improve. Like you did. I will keep these suggestions with me and apply them to my next story. (Or try to)

**Margarine Wazoos**- I was putting people in their place? Hmm. Hey! Are you trying to show me up with your superior vocabulary? Oh no! Hide me! Big words! And for your information I am nine and a half! [sticks out tongue] Thanks for your review!

**Lover of Red Death**- did you mean pathetic? Because I don't know what pathitic is. Thanks for your review!

**Captain Sparrows Pet**- yay! Go me! And he truly does stream them rays. I think I might have to go soak some of them up! Love ya!

**Aki Hisui Queen of Nameks**- you know that reviews are for commenting on the story right?

**Sirius-is-mine-** Yea, I will get over it. I would love to get away from the world…ahh for fan fiction. As you can tell your hope is coming true. I will write another…it's just when…I know not.

**BoogerWomanx10-**Hey g-yarn. Since your review was SO unique I will write a sequel. Ok so that's not the only reason, but hey! I am doing it!

**Underneath Mia-** Me? A great writer? Awww thanks! Yup sequel definitely cool. Cooler than ice! Love ya!

**Budist-monkey-posse-** NICE NAME! I like being original. You know? I did quit fan fiction for about a week. And then realized I can't live without it! Sequel will be a' comin! Love ya!

**Bamssk8chic**- Thanks. Funny is all I ask for. 

**Mickjaggerasfrankandalex-**nothing gets me down! Except waking up early on a Saturday!

**Mike Iller-** first off, Jack's character was never in character in this story, which was the point. I know that Legolas' name means Greenleaf, thank you very much. Did someone forget I read the book? My basic overall comment on your review is, this was just a fanfic that was supposed to be funny and entertaining. People don't want to think so much when they read stories like that. So please, get an imagination. Thanks for your review!

**Saydee27-** YAY! I am really glad that I can brighten people's days with just a chapter of a story! Hearing stuff like that brightens MY day! Love ya!

**Sesshoko Queen of Hell**- queen of hell eh? Wanna come rule with me? I am the queen of everything Elven and pirate like! I like your charisma! You are now my official Bitch-Identifier! You run around town seeking those who are bitchy and all around BITCHES! LOVE YA!

**Mystiquehottie8-**and as for YOU. You are my official DEFENDER! You wander the streets defending people who are bashed and flamed and laying on the side of the street feeling helpless and alone! YAY FOR YOU! I think everyone should just get along and be nice to one another, treat others as you would have yourself, you know? Eh. We will get them one day! LOVE YA!

**Runaway kid-** Leggy good. At least that bit can be interesting!

**Morningstar Devereaux-** WOO! Someone woke up on the wrong side of the pms bed today! Thanks for your review!

**Roberta-**Thanks! Reviews like this make me feel all warm and mooshy inside!

**X-XvampiressX-X-** I soooo love being fucking hilarious! It's like fucking awesome! I would be HAPPY to keep writing! 

**Crazy llama-** misadventures that are crazy are my specialties! Love ya!

**Veriawen-edhel-** Mel and Will together? Nooooo. Jack would kill people. Thanks for loving my writing! LOVE YA!

**Angelkeety-**Oh don't hurt me! If you bite my ass off I can't sit and if I can't sit then I can't type! LOVE YA!

**Harry Potter's crazed stalker**- I present to you the "most times a person reviewed in a row" award! Congrats and thanks so much! Love ya!

**Chibiathena01**- why thank you SO very much! I thought a lot of people would find that too "inappropriate" for them. Oh well! Glad you liked it! Love ya!

**Sugaricing-**yes, Legolas screaming is VERY funny! And you are just too strange for words! I LOVE YOU!

**Reflective velvet**-yea, don't you just HATE it when that happens? LOVE YA!

**LadyAkhana-** oh no! Don't die! You will miss the final chapters and that would be worse! Love ya!

**The Jade Princess-** Thank you! Yea I know Jack was different, it's just EVERYONE made him be this funny, charming, polite yet roguish kinda guy. I had to make him a bad guy, just once! Love ya!

**Jeanna-** A classic?! Really?! COOL! [does a dance] catfight? Another? In the sequel I might have to go for something a little stranger than that! LOVE YA!

**Elrohir lover-** Oh my god! I love Elrohir too! Thanks for your love…here's mine in return! Love ya!

**Sweet Ak-** aww you are just SO sweet! Love ya!

**Bananagurl-** love your reviews! Flamers evidently didn't really like the story as much as you thought it should be liked but oh well. You are my biggest fan?! Wow! You aren't the first person to say that, but every time I hear it I am just blown away! Love ya!

**SoccerGurl-** me update!? Ok. Love ya!

**First of the Geeks-** MELISSA IS SUCH AN ASS BUT WE LOOOVE HER SOOO! Chapters are great I know, I know don't tell me! Love you MUCHO!

**Rogue misfit marauder jedi**- Woo! That was a mouthful! Thanks for the review! Your kinds always cheer me up no matter what! Short and sweet! Love ya!

**Story TellerJS-**eat…cheese? Randomness is sometimes the best stuff. As long as it's written in the correct format! Love ya!

**Pirates**- if I were to quit writing chapters I would think some very scary hate mail would begin appearing at my door. Love ya!

**Civeta-** everyone is all like "this is the funniest" and every time I see it, I just go SQUEE! I love hearing that people enjoy my stuff! Love ya!

**Nightfox The Gypsy-** I am so happy that people are falling over laughing. It's just too cool beyond anything, I give you permission to use the line! Go have fun! Love ya!

**Tabby Kitten-**The pervy thing kinda makes him a little more appealing for some reason…Love ya!

**CleopatraVII-** as usual? Cooooool. Thanks! Love ya!

**Captain Miss-** You really like it?! Wow. I still have a hard time grasping the fact that people find my writing funny. Thanks! Love ya!

**Obsessed with orli**- Cherice I think we are all obsessed, but you my friend are the queen.

**Kuramasgirl556-** Thought your stories were the shiz! I will have to review them though…yea…LOVE YA!

**Lemluvspirates-**OMG! Lem! That is my alter ego! Cool! Thanks for the popcorn and Jack stickers! They went to good use! Love ya!

**Lena-**one of the funniest?! My god this really takes some getting used to! Thanks! Love ya!

**Jashi-** well cool yours was not only the first actual review but also the first kinda flame! LOVE YA!

All right people! Thank you all SO much for your reviews! They were appreciated SO much!

Catch you all later! And be on the look out for the sequel! Due out in maybe a month or so! 

LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOO MUCHO!

Mel

Aka

The Second Geek


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